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Winter 22 - Parody

by The New Old Distillery

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1.
I threw up on you I got queasy down deep in my gut then it just came loose I can’t control my spray You were sitting behind me on the roller coaster and the loop-de-loop just messed with my mind and then up it came. It smelled like gatorade. I threw up on you And you never saw it come in and some went into your mouth and then you too did regurgitate And then pretty soon it was a chain reaction people retching and wearing others puke, a chucked lunch buffet it smelled like new years day They pulled us off the ride to hose us down under the board walk Where they keep the broken ride cars The vomit washed off and gathered in the sand But when I saw the blown chunk puddles I had to hurl again
2.
There is something on the ground looking up at you When you walk around, rolling with your crew If you’ve come to mow or you’re pulling out a blade Want you to know we don’t do well in the shade (In the morning) dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew yeah babe I need sunshine to grow When people walk on me and they ignore the signs stay off the grass baby what are you blind? When I don’t get water I turn from brown to blue it’s because I’m sad I am an emotional fescue (In the morning) dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew dew Yeah the other day a dog peed on my face It was so acidic babe then she went to chase a frisbee Yes, I know you could be lush so much better than a tree or bush I will be your fertilizing farmer coming to saves this sad little fescue
3.
every time I get in the shower all my clothes are stacked in a tower but that’s not true I’ve got a secret I’ll share with you I wear what nobody knows underneath all my clothes there’s always just another thing I'm naked in my cut off jeans yes I'm jeans on (x3) now you know I'm never nude
4.
Diamond life, carbs are king There’s a starch that’s top of the charts, such joy that it brings Cooked up right, and piled up high When I ac-quire, what I de-sire, it makes me sigh Pour on some gravy, the brown or the white Or maybe some sour cream and chives How could it be wrong and yet be so right? (No need to ask, gimme) Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Topped with cheddar, bacon, au gratin, all the way Just make sure they’re not flocculated or purée (They’re) On your plate, now it’s too late (They) Spill across and now they cross – contaminate But it’s not so bad, when the result Means more of the Russet, or the Yukon Gold So pass me the butter because now I’m sold. (No need to ask, gimmie) Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Topped with cheddar, bacon, au gratin, all the way Just make sure they’re not floccu-lated or purée Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Smooth mashed potatoes, smooth mashed potatoes Smooth mashed potatoes, Smoooooth, mashed potatoes
5.
When your hearing starts to go You can feel it fading fast So you crank it to eleven And you think it’s gonna last But you couldn’t have worse timing And the people in your band They think that you’re pretentious They don’t understand I’ve got ringin’ in my ears Going on all the time And it makes it hard to hear Is you hearing bad like mine? I’ve got ringin’ in my ears Going on all the time And it makes it hard to hear Is you hearing bad like mine? Now when everything you hear Begins to sound like Rhonda Green It clearly illustrates That you don’t hear what I mean The results from the audiologist Didn’t turn out like you planned The sounds that fill your ears You can’t understand I’ve got ringin’ in my ears Going on all the time And it makes it hard to hear Is you hearing bad like mine? I’ve got ringin’ in my ears Going on all the time And it makes it hard to hear Is you hearing bad like mine? You can spend a lot of money And you can spend a lot of time You can try the latest tech If it will ease your mind After all the things you’ve tried and tried You find another plan ‘cause the sounds you should be hearing You can’t understand I’ve got ringin’ in my ears Going on all the time And it makes it hard to hear Is you hearing bad like mine? You’ve got ringin’ in your ears Going on all the time And it makes it hard to hear Is you hearing bad like mine? You’ve got blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-ah Going on blah, blah, blah-ah And it blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-ah Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-ah
6.
A milky bowl of goodness on my table waits the only cereal that Mikey doesn't hate I turned my back on you just for a little while An empty spice rack space and your amused smile It's not like I'm an imbecile, I see what's happened, I know you put some thyme on my Life(tm) I take a healthy bite to prove that you're a dick expecting it to make me feel a little sick that leather, earthy musk on chips of rice and wheat knocks my taste buds directly off their feet it's something so delectable, but still that wasn't right I know you put some thyme on my Life(tm) I know it's unconventional but I do it day and night You know I put some thyme on my Life(tm) It's far from undetectable, green flakes on milky white You ought to put some thyme on your Life(tm)

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released November 5, 2022

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The New Old Distillery Rensselaer, Indiana

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